Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Dear Blog,

I know I have done nothing but ignored you for the better part of two years... but I have big plans. I think I am going to Tear You Down, and Then Build you Back Up, Better and Stronger than before. I am gonna rope my friends into reading you, and make myself committed to updating you regularly. I promise you that I will get over my fear of being published, and write great works in your memory. No matter what things went down between us... I still always loved you. I hope you know that. I just didn't want you to see me and how much I had changed. I didn't want to see you lose your respect for me. I owe you big time blog. I'll keep you in my heart forever.

Changes coming soon,

Love and respect,

Federico Jose Cuellar

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Audacity of Obama

President Obama is once again under attack in the media, but that isn't news. I believe that by choosing to walk the dangerous middle ground he is making himself a target and he will remain in this thankless position.


The article posted above details Liz Cheney's new round of attacks on Obama's careful strategy to use diplomacy in order to rescue America's shot reputation and reengage the international community. It seems that she has formed an organization titled "Keep America Safe" which properly uses her status as a daughter of a politically disgraced former Vice President to spin her celebrity into a play for power. The implication being that she has the weight of a Washington insider who "knows how the White House works" (this move should be called the Hilary Clinton Hail Mary). She is dredging up old Bush era tactics of raising the terror alert level to Orange before the election.

America isn't safe, the worst is yet to come, if you aren't with us then you are against us.

I have seen liberals and conservatives alike jump ship when it comes to the Obama administration and honestly I am tickled by how similar their backsides look as they run away terrified by the rhythmic and repetitive sing song chant of grade school jump rope lyrics.

I should end with this. I am not on the inside of the Obama Administration, I still have my own doubts and questions as to what really is going on behind closed doors. I have no idea if the President is trying too hard with the public, or if he isn't trying hard enough, but I want to believe that he is trying to carefully plan each move with an endgame in mind. I want to believe this because he looks organized and he stays consistent, it may seem wrong to judge him based on his rhetoric and the character he commits too on camera, but I still believe that this man is a good man. I believe he intentionally creates hope in people, but not out of malice to fuel fever dreams that will never actualize, he must know that history will burn him alive if he doesn't turn the country around and he faces greater expectations than any other president since Ronald Reagan. I firmly believe that President Obama wants to find an actual considerate compromise that he can find from the people, for the people, and he will do whatever work necessary to save (t)his country.

A side note: I think the whole controversy over whether or not he deserves a Nobel Peace Prize is ridiculous. The Nobel committee rewarded him for his example, and he accepted their award with humility. He accepted the award as another opportunity for a teachable moment, but the media exists to cut through the spin, and honestly sometimes I think they are doing the country a disservice. People have stopped listening, and that is not a good thing. All eyes are on Obama except for no one wants to hear what he is saying anymore. I feel that Obama needs all the attention he complains about in order to get his message through to the people that matter. His initiatives might not be able to sway "the insiders" who "know" how "the game" works and dismiss his political opportunism as a desperate strategy. I still believe in his goals and aspirations and I join him in having the audacity to hope. The man practically lives on camera and understands the fundamental reality that moving the Country to the left is only going to leave good Americans behind. Obama is going to lose a lot of battles because hes playing politics honorably and doing the work, but I think from my perspective he is Keeping America Safe more than any other individual at this moment.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

the turning gears.

Time never stops or takes a break, it marches on and on and on...
I feel like Time, my time more specifically, is slowly running out from under me. The pressure to make the statement that I have always felt could give my life the value I ashamedly always felt I deserved is starting to feel over bearing. The pressure is nothing new, my struggle to find myself is implicit in this blogs existence. That is what this is about...

Yet Time marches on.

I find that randomness and circumstance are often misdiagnosed as common occurrences. When we study history we look at actions that are finished and we use hindsight to examine motivations and spot patterns which outline of the cognizant gears that move a human mind. This is where I am in folly, for using the past to see into the future is a ruse of the Machine. Humanity is individual and immediate it is folly to manipulation and to misrepresentation. A human being is capable of moving in all directions at once, and this is a problem for the machine.

Well Lets Continue Shall We.

I tend to see patterns and regular trends in the world around me which I try to process and use as a justification for my actions.
Collecting inputs acting accordingly this is how all things act.

Well if we look at all of these things as moving parts, then in order to change our disappointments, minimize our regrets, and create a more stable and happier direction we must either A.) Shift our paradigms away from the truth.
Thereby ignoring the bad and explaining away the causes to obstacles that will ultimately build up and overtake
B.)Change the inputs and the moving parts in our artificially create our immediate surroundings so as to facilitate optimization.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

And nothing here maybe revolutionary but lets analyze.
First Option B for this is the Machine at work. Depending on ones personality this is either easier or more difficult, but it has many downfalls. For one I have always found that taking on this kind of lifestyle takes away the human factor in the grind against the machine. Who will remember you when you throw away your interpersonal relationships for selfish ambition. Who will care if you earned or achieved or created something that could have been just as easily been reproduced by a robot, with the correct programming.

Don't make the argument here that we are all robots, that is not what this is about.
We are not robots, we may all be programming one another, but that does not a robot make.

Option A isn't an action, its a a fancy footloose over self delusion. Creating your own reality is absolutely fundamental to being human. Living life without a personal philosophy is possible, but absolutely unacceptable in my eyes.

Option B is as inhumane as humanity can get. Replacing broken parts, and avoiding negative influences, you might as well rip off your own arm or only spend your time with "a better class of people."

So I got all the way here and still no answers. Nothing new anyway.
But I feel like I should leave something behind in case this pace continues and I run out of time before I finish.

"If you bullshit the world around you, the world will give you bullshit back."

Both Options A and B are black holes, the Middle ground Option C, can be found in Conviction


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Barack Hussein Obama 44th President of the United States of America



The politicking of such exotic topics seemed all too alien when it came out from the mouth of the most foreign sounding political nominee too ever run for office. All election, he looked so much different than everyone else, he stuck out at every political convention like a sore thumb.


Maybe this country is ready to believe in something different. This man has placed upon himself a huge burden of expectations that he may not be able to live up to. But good for him for trying. The times they are tough, and the people need the hope. The situation is sever and he creates within himself a rallying point to come together. This country needs to stay together, for individually we are weak, but together America is strong.

I am so proud.
That he could create this hope in the first place.
That America has lived up to the Democratic fairytale we were told growing up.
That for once more people in this country can dream themselves to the top.
That more people of every demographic stood up on election day and demanded to be heard

In the history of politics in America, voter turnout has never accurately represented the actual adult population inhabiting this continental space. American suffrage has come along way and so too has America’s own irrational ignorance. "One vote can't make a difference" , "All Politicians are all the same".

No they Aren't, and Yes we Can

America is social contract between a large group of people, and a record number of people moved policy, made a decision, overcame fear mongering, and dared to Hope tonight.
This election result is epic. I believe that whatever tomorrow brings today will go down in history as a positive turning point for civilization. I am getting a little ahead of myself but do not allow yourself to be mad for having great expectations. Those expectations aren't a manipulation that burden you, he will carry that burden. Move forward and embrace the very fact that we can feel this alive in this time about our future as a people. Watch him for he wants to be watched and help him when he asks for your help. He will need all the help he can get.

Federico Cuellar

Monday, October 20, 2008

Navigating the Machine

I always meant to continue writing in this blog. But every time I tried, I would fumble over disrupting the beauty of "Here Goes Nothing" being the last words that the blog ever processed.

I guess I see writing as a weapon at I can use to fight against time. I write in hope of creating a permanent reminder of where my thoughts came from and where they were. Time and The Machine lurch forward forever feasting on our values and opinions constantly moving and turning us. It is few the individuals whom can reverse this parasitic relationship, whom can steer time and history, set policy, and be remembered.

I have a sexual obsession with word choice. By this I don't mean to say that I obsess over it, but it does obsess me. When I think about stringing together sentences I enjoy never actually thinking about, thinking about which words I am going to use. I was telling someone recently that my language was as much a surprise to me as it is to anyone else. Like a jack in the box that is forever exploding into my thoughtscape I only read whatever
my next word is that pops up.

Attaching such a silly notion as permanence to something so fickle as words is then the most ridiculous endeavor I have ever attempted, and yet here I write.

I will try and write more, but it won't get any better. The machine eats my words, so I use this machine to fight back. type-ity type type. You are just a witness to my pointless battle.

For your homework assignment today boys and girls, think about writing, and try to jot down a couple of lines about language. When you are done, try and take those ideas and make them into a compelling meta narrative that someone with a completely alien history might read and respond to. If in 90 years someone responds, You win. If no one responds. Then the Machine won, and you are another casualty of time.

Don't forget to Double Space after a period.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007


So, I like to type sometimes. Most times about nothing... and I thought of this name "Cognizant in the machine" while I was on the bus, so I checked to see if it was available and sure enough. Here I am.

Cognizant in the machine.

I figure that my typical, "go to" metaphor for life, love, and everything else can from now on be ----> "the machine", and while cognizant does sort of arrogantly imply that I have it all figured out, mostly I just use it because I like the double symbolism of the smaller word, "cog" in there. Just another cog in the machine. So what's next?

I know one thing. This is going to be a place for me and my ideas. I'll accept and occasionally ask for comments, but I am going to write for myself. I'm not going to waste time worrying about what someone else might or might not read.

Here goes nothing.